Modus Vivendi
by Ammadeau
Summary: Shinji arrives in Tokyo-3, but things proceed differently in this world. Or do they?


Modus Vivendi  
(A NGE Alternate History)  
By Ammadeau  
Roy.Fokker@UNSpacy.org  
http://Ammadeau.tripod.com/fanfiction.htm  
  
Episode 1: Incursion  
  
"Shinji, are you all right?"  
The boy heard a woman's voice that seemed to come from   
both close by and far off at the same time. There was a dull throb   
of pain coming from the back of his skull while he tasted the bitter   
salty tang of blood in his mouth. His body felt strangely numb   
when he tried to move, as if he were underwater.  
Shinji opened his eyes to look up into the face of a purple-  
haired young woman who looked somewhat familiar, but in his   
currently frazzled state he couldn't place it. Her face was marked   
with some concern, but there was something about her eyes, as he   
peered closer into them, that chilled him to the bone. He had to   
turn away.  
"Shinji," she said again, "are you okay?"  
"Huh?" Shinji managed to say as he forced his mouth to   
work. "What happened?"  
"Looks like you got hit in the head with some falling   
debris. You're lucky it was only a small piece or I wouldn't be   
talking to you now."  
Shinji looked up and around him. He stood on a street   
corner by what was left of a public phone, which has been smashed   
in where a large chunk of plaster from the building behind him had   
hit it. The building itself had a giant hole it about six stories up, as   
if a missle had hit it. Except for the damage, the place seemed   
familiar, but at the same time Shinji wasn't sure. Something else   
was out of place, but he couldn't figure out what it was.  
"You must have been out for several minutes, so some   
disorientation is only natural. You probably had some kind of   
weird dream, right?"  
"Huh?" Shinji said, absently rubbing the back of his head   
in an effort to clear the fog that seemed to hang around his mind.   
"I don't know, I don't remember."  
"Well, I wouldn't worry about it now. We have to get you   
to the Geo-Front and fast!"  
"Why?"  
"Because of that."  
Shinji followed with his eyes to where this woman was   
pointing, only to be stunned to see a giant alien turn the corner. It   
seemed to be staring right at him.  
  
"I guess I should introduce myself, since that blow to the   
head obviously made you forget some things," the woman told   
Shinji as the drove away. "I'm Captain Misato Katsuragi. I work   
at NERV for your father."  
After seeing the Angel, it had been easy to convince Shinji   
to get in her car. They were currently breaking the speed limit in a   
race to get to the Geo-Front before it did.  
"My father?"  
"Yeah, I guess you aren't looking forward to seeing him   
after he abandoned you and all. I can sympathize. My own father   
was like that too. All work, no time for anything else."  
Shinji shook his head, pain still nagging at him. His   
memory was all there, but must have been scrambled by the   
accident. Misato was right, he wasn't looking forward to seeing his   
father after all these years.  
  
*Shinji?*  
"Yes, Misato?" Shinji asked the woman who was currently   
leading him around the labyrinth that was the Geo-Front. She had   
insisted that he call her by her first name after the little incident   
with the N2 mine. He blushed a little when he remembered he   
body pressed against his own. He had never had that kind of   
experience with a girl before.  
"Huh?" Misato replied, looking up from her map.  
"Didn't you just call my name?"  
The purple-haired captain only looked more confused. "It   
wasn't me."  
"But could have sworn--"  
*Shinji! It's me, Misato!*  
Shinji had been watching Misato the entire time and hadn't   
seen her lips move. Was she trying to freak him out for some   
reason with a ventriloquism act?  
*No, not out there! Listen very carefully, Shinji. The   
person that you are with isn't the real Misato. I'll explain   
everything, but you have to get away from her first. I don't want to   
make them more suspicious than they already are.*  
Shinji thought about this for a moment. He didn't know   
what was going on, but he did know that he was hearing a voice   
that clearly sounded like the woman he was with, yet was also   
clearly not her. Most likely, he was going crazy due to the recent   
hit to his head, but it would be better if he gave this voice a chance   
to explain. Maybe then it would go away.  
"Excuse me, Misato?"  
Her irritation with the map turned to a smile when she   
faced him. "Yes, what is it?"  
"I need to go to the bathroom."  
"Are you sure it can't wait? We're almost there."  
Shinji decided not to mention that she had been saying that   
for the last ten minutes. "I really need to go now. I've been   
holding it for a while."  
"All right. The map says that there's a restroom right   
around that corner. You hurry up and I'll wait here. Maybe I can   
use the time to figure out this thing better."  
Shinji dashed off the indicated way and was more than a   
little surprised to actually find a men's room there. He only   
thought for a moment on how strange it was that Misato could find   
a restroom on request, but not where they were supposed to be,   
before ducking inside.  
The men's room gleamed with polished porcelain. It was   
currently empty and looked as if it hadn't ever been used. He   
wondered just how many janitors it took to keep the Geo-Front   
looking as clean as it was.  
*Good thinking, Shinji.*  
"Who are you? What are you doing inside my head?" he   
asked, trying to hold back the panic in his voice. Why did he have   
to choose to start losing his sanity on this or all days?  
Shinji heard another, unfamiliar voice in the background,   
saying, *It sounds as if he doesn't remember anything. The   
incursion has affected him more than we expected.*  
The Misato sound-alike asked, *So what do we do about   
it?*  
*Try to get him to remember, or at least convince him that   
we're the ones that he should be listening to. It's not going to be   
easy.*  
The Misato voice grew louder, obviously addressing him   
this time. *Shinji, listen to me very carefully, for everything I'm   
about to tell you is true. You are not in the Geo-Front, nor is the   
person with you Misato. You are currently in one of the districts   
of Tokyo-3, under the influence of an incursion wave. It prevented   
me from communicating with you until just now and altering your   
memory. You have the power to resist its influence, but only if   
you realize and accept that everything around you is false.*  
"None of this is real?" Shinji asked as he felt the smooth   
surface of the sink. It certainly felt solid enough. Should he   
believe it or the voices in his head? Would he be mad for   
accepting what they told him, or was he already mad for hearing   
them at all?  
*I know this all seems crazy, but you have to believe me.   
The future of the Earth is at stake!*  
*He doesn't seem to be buying this,* whispered the Misato   
voice, just loud enough that Shinji could hear.  
*Maybe demonstrating some of the features of the plug-suit   
will convince him.*  
*Can you talk him through it? I don't really know it as well   
as you do.*  
*I'll try.*  
The second voice now clearly addressed him. *Shinji, this   
is Doctor Ritsuko Akagi, NERV's chief scientist and designer of   
the plug suit that you are now wearing.*  
Shinji looked at himself in the mirror, even going so far as   
to open up his shirt. All he was wearing were the clothes that he   
put on this morning. Certainly not a plug-suit, whatever that was.   
He told the voice so.  
*The plug suit has an automatic adaptation feature so it   
blends in with whatever incursion you're stuck in, since it's better if   
the Angels don't know you're wearing it. There's a way to   
temporarily shut off this feature, but it only works if you   
remembered what the plug suit looks like. However, there is   
another test we can perform.  
*You were no doubt surprised by hearing two Misatos and   
are probably dubious that the one you only heard is the real one,   
since voice pattern would be much easier to fake than appearance.   
Besides, it's easier to believe the world around you than the voices   
in your head, right?*  
"Something like that," Shinji admitted. He hadn't expected   
his delusions to sound so reasonable. Shouldn't they be telling him   
to kill someone or set fire to his hair, or something?  
*I thought so. Well, I'm going to show you how easy   
counterfeiting a Misato really is.*  
*Hey!*  
*Almost easy that is. Trust me, there's nothing like the   
original. All I need for you to do, Shinji, is close your eyes and   
concentrate on the image of Misato. Focus on it and then imagine   
that that is what you look like, that her body is your body, that her   
voice is your voice. Can you do that for me, Shinji?*  
The young boy thought for a moment. It sounded insane,   
but then what did he expect from voices in his head? If he   
humored them, they just might go away. So he closed his eyes and   
concentrated on Misato. Strangely enough, there were images of   
her that didn't fit anywhere in his memories. Images of her on a   
video-phone screen. Where had they come from?  
*Now, open your eyes,* Ritsuko told him.  
Shinji did as he was told and jumped away from the mirror   
in shock, as he watched the image of Misato mirror his actions. He   
looked over himself in surprise, or rather herself now since he was   
clearly now a she. Not just any woman, but identical to the one   
who was waiting for him in the hall. He even cupped the breast to   
see if this wasn't just some illusion, or just another element of his   
madness.  
"Hey, these are real!" Shinji shouted in amazement, not   
even noticing that even his voice matched Misato's.  
*Of course they're real!!* The woman whose image he   
now wore shouted so loud that he was nearly made deaf. *Watch   
who you're groping there!*  
The boy-turned-woman immediately put her hands down at   
her sides, a blush covering her cheeks.  
*Calm down, Misato. I doubt Shinji meant it that way and   
besides, it's not really your body. Okay, I think you should change   
back now. Someone could walk in on you and the Misato out in   
the hall might be getting suspicious by now. Close your eyes and   
concentrate on how you had been only a minute ago. You should   
return to normal.*  
Shinji did as 'she' was told, and was greeted by his original   
body when he opened his eyes again. He signed in relief. Being a   
girl had been distinctly uncomfortable in a number of ways.  
*So do you believe us now, Shinji?* Misato asked.  
Slowly, Shinji nodded. That had all been much too real to   
be madness or a simple daydream. There was also his instincts,   
which had kept telling him not to trust the Misato who was now   
waiting out for him in the hall. For some reason, he felt he could   
trust those voices that spoke to him in his head.  
*Good. You should go back to the hall and not keep my   
doppelganger waiting any longer. The last thing we need is for   
them to realize that we have a link to you. I'll still be able to talk to   
you and all you have to do is think your reply. We should try that   
now. Respond to me, but just think it rather than saying it out   
loud.*  
*Um, I'm sorry for touching you earlier, Misato.*  
Shinji could hear the laughter of who he guessed to be   
Ritsuko in the background.  
*That's okay, Shinji,* Misato replied. *Just don't let it   
happen again. I'm a married woman.*  
  
Shinji was surprised to see that Misato wasn't alone now as   
she waited for him in the hall. There was another woman there   
about her age, with short blonde hair, and wearing a lab coat over a   
blue bathing suit. Her expression was stern as she stared at Misato,   
while the purple-haired captain looked a bit embarrassed.  
"Ah, there you are, Shinji. I'd like you to meet NERV's   
head scientist, Doctor Ritsuko Akagi."  
"Nice to meet you," Shinji replied politely, though   
distracted by the name being the same as the second voice he heard   
in his head. There was also something about her eyes, as she gazed   
unwavering at him, that made him feel distinctly uncomfortable,   
like the temperature of the room had suddenly dropped twenty   
degrees.  
*I don't believe this!* said that same voice, her tone   
outraged.  
Shinji found it a bit eerie to hear Misato's laughter in his   
head while standing before a silent version of her.  
The false-Ritsuko nodded her head in acknowledgment and   
said, "We'll have to hurry to the seventh cage now. Thanks to   
you, Misato, we're late in getting the Third Child there."  
  
Shinji fell down in surprise when the lights came back on   
and he was face to face with a giant purple robot.  
*What is that thing?* Misato asked, her voice sounding   
disgusted. Shinji had to admit that it wasn't exactly pretty to look   
at. He did not like the way those huge yellow eyes were staring at   
him.  
*I have my suspicions, but I believe that we will find out   
soon enough,* Ritsuko replied.  
"What is it?" Shinji asked, more for their benefit than his   
own. At this point, he only wanted this nightmare to end.  
"This is the synthetic life form Evangelion," the false-  
Ritsuko told him as she gazed into the thing's eyes. "Unit-01."  
Remembering something the false-Misato had told him,   
Shinji asked, "Is this my father's work?"  
"Correct," rang out a male voice from somewhere above   
them.  
Shinji turned to see a man who looked to be in his mid-  
forties, leaning over a rail. He was dressed in a black uniform and   
his eyes were hidden by dark glasses.  
"Father?" Shinji said almost a whisper. At the same time,   
he heard a third voice from inside his head. *I should have   
known.*  
  
*What do I do?* Shinji sent a panicked thought to the   
voices in his head. His father, Ritsuko, and Misato (at least the   
ones out there) were all trying to pressure him into getting in that   
horrible-looking monster in order to fight the Angel. Misato was   
telling him that he mustn't run away, but every time he looked at   
that . . . thing they called Unit-01, he wanted to scream out in fear.   
The feeling of dread only grew in him the more he looked at it, like   
a rain cloud gathering above him. He wanted to crawl away and   
hide somewhere, to pretend this was all a dream.  
According to the voices, none of it was real, but he couldn't   
believe that this was just a dream either. It felt like more of a   
nightmare, but one that he couldn't wake up from. The pain from   
when he had been hit by debris was still there, a dull throb that   
seemed all too real. If he could hurt here, Shinji reasoned, then he   
could probably die here too.  
*Whatever you do, don't get in that EVA,* the voice that he   
identified as Ritsuko told him. *Giving them what they want will   
only strengthen the incursion. I also can't predict what effect it will   
have on your plug-suit or our link to you.*  
After Shinji remained silent for some time, Gendo sniffed   
disdainfully loud enough for him to hear, and then said to someone   
else he couldn't see, "Fuyutsuki, summon Rei."  
Shinji couldn't hear what the other person said to this, only   
his father's reply. "She's not dead yet."  
A short while afterward, Shinji watched as several people   
in white coats wheeled out a stretcher, on which lay a young girl   
about his age with pale skin and blue hair.  
*I should have expected something like this,* Ritsuko said,   
not sounding at all pleased.  
As the stretcher neared him, Shinji studied the girl   
curiously. There was a flash of recognition when he noticed what   
she was wearing. A plug-suit, he knew, just like the one he had put   
on before the incursion had hit. The fog that had been hanging   
around his brain since he had awoken lifted somewhat at this   
revelation.  
*No, don't!* Ritsuko shouted to him in a panic. *If you   
reveal that you're wearing a plug-suit, you'll give everything   
away!*  
Shinji was closing his eyes, only to open them, startled,   
when he heard her voice. He had been trying to revert to the plug-  
suit, just to make sure, almost without thinking about it. He took a   
deep breath and released it slowly, trying to stop the fear and panic   
that were rising up in him like bile. The feeling of dread lessened   
somewhat, but before he could regain a sense of calm, the whole   
chamber trembled with the aftershocks of a nearby explosion.  
People were shouting and racing about, but their chaos   
seemed muted somehow, as if it were something he was watching   
on television. Because of this, the sudden snap of a cable breaking   
was as loud as a gunshot to his ears. He looked up to the source of   
the sound, only to see something large and black falling towards   
him. The shape was blurred and it was falling so slowly that he   
idly thought that it would take forever to reach him. He stood   
rooted to the spot, unable to tear his eyes away.  
"*Shinji, no!*" both Misatos shouted simultaneously. The   
one who was there in body tried to get him out of the way in time,   
but she knew that she was too far away to reach him as the beam   
fell.  
With most people focused on Shinji, few noticed when   
alarm klaxons started to sound. "The EVA, it's moving by itself!"   
one of the techs shouted in alarm as the massive purple hand   
interposed itself between the boy and the falling girder.  
Shinji blinked in surprise as the hand suddenly blocked his   
view. He didn't even hear it when the beam bounced off the hand   
and smashed to pieces against the unbreaking glass that his father   
stood behind. This giant robot, which scared him more than   
anything he had ever seen before, actually protected him? It had   
saved his life?  
A nearby cry of pain distracted him from his thoughts.   
Shinji glanced over to see that the blue-haired girl had fallen off   
the stretcher. Without thinking, he rushed over and helped her to   
sit up. Up close, he could see the fresh blood that smeared her   
bandages and her cries only seemed to worsen as her breathing   
came in ragged gulps of air.  
Shinji was drawn to the tear that fell from her single   
uncovered eye. That red eye, so unnatural, yet he felt none of the   
chill that he had felt in looking into the eyes of others. The eye   
seemed to plead to him, its silent desire a hundred times stronger to   
him than everyone else's justifications.  
Shinji took another deep breath to clear his head. He didn't   
know much at the moment. He still couldn't fully separate what   
was real from what was illusion. As far as he knew, the whole   
place, the Geo-Front, Unit-01, and most of the people in it could be   
just part of some nightmare. But he also knew for certain that the   
girl he held in his arms was real, and someone who was in pain.   
He could not let them put her into that thing, even if it meant going   
in himself.  
"All right, I'll pilot it," he told them, ignoring the shouts of   
protest from the voices in his head.  
  
They had offered Shinji a plug-suit which looked exactly   
like the one he remembered putting on, but he refused to wear it. It   
would mean taking off the real plug-suit and losing contact with   
the real Ritsuko and Misato. Besides, he was afraid that the once   
he took it off, he'd forget what was real and give into the illusion   
again. It scared him in how tempting it was to give into the lie.   
They were insistent that he wear the interface nodes though. He   
tried them on and thought, *Hello? Are you still with me?*  
*Still here, Shinji,* Misato responded. *But I think that   
this is a really bad idea.*  
Shinji nodded absently. He thought this was a bad idea too,   
but he didn't see that there was anything else that he could do. He   
couldn't let someone get killed like that, not when he could do   
something to prevent it.  
Techs helped him into the entry plug and before he knew it,   
he was inserted into Unit-01. He thought it was strange how all   
sense of menace had evaporated now that he was inside the beast   
that he had feared. It seemed like a strange giant robot, but no   
longer a monster. *Maybe this won't be so bad after all.*  
*I wouldn't count on that, Shinji,* Misato told him.  
Shinji heard various people talking about preparation   
procedures that he didn't understand. Then the entry plug began to   
fill with a yellowish liquid. He began to panic when the stuff   
reached chest level. Were they trying to drown him?  
"Hey, what is this stuff? What's going on?"  
"Relax, Shinji," the false-Ritsuko told him. "Once your   
lungs are filled with LCL, your blood will be oxygenated directly."  
Shinji held his breath for as long as he could, but eventually   
had no choice but to breathe the liquid in. It tasted so foul that he   
wished he could just spit it out again. "I think I'm going to be   
sick."  
"Stop complaining!" Misato shouted at him. "You're just a   
boy, you know."  
Shinji didn't respond. He just wanted to get this over with.  
  
They ran through the activation sequence without any   
problems and it wasn't long before Misato shouted, "EVA,   
launch!"  
Shinji soon found himself rocketing towards the surface at   
speeds that turned the walls of the chute into a vague blur.   
However, floating in the LCL he felt only a little of the   
acceleration, even when the ride came to an abrupt halt as he   
reached the surface.  
When they released the docking clamps, Shinji could feel   
the weight of the EVA as if it were his own body. There was a   
strange duality, having control of two bodies at once, but for some   
reason he found it easy to keep one separate from the other in his   
mind. He tried walking, as Ritsuko had instructed, and was able to   
make his first few steps before he lost his balance and fell.  
Shinji could feel the nearing doom in the form of the   
Angel, even though he could no longer see it. Putting all he had   
into thoughts of standing up, he barely registered what people were   
saying to him. Only the panic in Misato's voice managed to cut   
through this when she shouted, "Shinji, you've got to stand up!"  
He tried his best, but it was already too late. The Angel   
picked him up and Shinji was forced to look directly into the   
thing's face. From a distance, the Angel could have been dismissed   
as a giant rubber balloon, but up close he could see its dark skin   
and bone, small scars running like small rivers across its face. It   
may have been his imagination, but there was suddenly the   
overwhelming odor of rotting meat. But the worst thing was those   
dead eyes staring right at him. He was paralyzed.  
The Angel breaking Unit-01's arm snapped Shinji out of his   
trance, mainly due to the pain he suddenly felt, as if it was his own   
arm that had been twisted until the muscles gave way. He   
screamed, barely hearing Misato explain that it wasn't his real arm.   
Whatever the case, the pain was all too real.  
Shinji was distracted from this when it felt as if someone   
were jabbing a hundred needles into his right eye. He covered his   
eye in vain hope of shutting out the pain, but it was no good. The   
needles struck again and again, relentlessly. Eventually, the pain   
was too much and Shinji blacked out.  
  
Shinji nearly leapt out of bed, startled, his breath coming in   
ragged gasps. He looked all around in surprise. The last thing he   
remembered was being in the entry plug, but now he was in what   
clearly was a hospital. Had all of that been a dream?  
He left his room in order to get some sense of where he   
was. He looked out the window to see the Geo-Front,   
remembering how he had first seen it riding in the car train with   
Misato. Where was she? He also wondered why he was in a   
hospital, since he seemed perfectly fine, other than his left arm   
being a bit sore and his right eye stinging a bit.  
As if summoned by his thoughts, Misato walked down the   
long hallway towards him, a slight smile on her face. She   
explained what happened after he had blacked vaguely, that   
somehow he had defeated the Angel, and Shinji was too tired to   
push her to elaborate. It was time to get changed and go home.   
But where would home be?  
Shinji had been okay with the idea of living alone, but   
Misato wouldn't hear of it and invited him to live with her.   
Though the place was a mess and he ended up having to do most of   
the chores, it was starting to feel like home already. It could have   
been the way that Misato made him feel welcome. It was with a   
smile that Shinji settled down to sleep.  
  
***  
  
The automated train reserved for NERV personnel pulled   
into the station right on time. Shinji was the only one on the train,   
and when he got off, he found himself to be the only one at the   
station. *Weird,* he thought. *I've never been here before, but   
I'm sure that there should be some people around.*  
He eventually found a phone and tried the number he'd   
been given, but all he got was a recording saying that the phone   
lines were down due to the current emergency.  
*What emergency?* Shinji wondered as he looked around.   
*Everything seems to be fine to me.*  
"Warning: Incoming incursion wave," said a computerized   
voice similar to the one on the phone, echoing throughout the city   
block. "Please evacuate this district."  
*That explains the absence of people,* Shinji thought.   
*What the heck is an 'incursion wave' anyway?*  
As he was just about to hang up the phone and follow the   
voice's advice, when another, more human voice came on the   
phone, shouting, "Wait, don't hang up!"  
"Huh?" responded Shinji as he turned back to the video-  
phone to see the image of the woman in the photo he had recieved   
on the screen. "I thought you're supposed to be picking me up."  
Misato looked vaguely embarrassed. "Well, I can't right   
now."  
Shinji shrugged his shoulders; he didn't really care that he   
was such a low priority. "Can you at least give me directions out   
of this district? There seems to be some kind of emergency."  
"We know, that's why we need you to stay where you are.   
Don't worry, you won't be any danger once we air-drop something   
to you. It's on its way now."  
"Why do you need me to stay here?"  
"Do you know why you were called you here?"  
"Not really," Shinji replied, shrugging. He had gotten a   
somewhat mysterious message in the mail from the government   
that informed him that he was to move to Tokyo-3 and become a   
'Protector,' whatever that was. It had been signed by and included   
a picture of the woman he was talking to now. The only real   
reason he obeyed the letter's instructions was the fact that it   
referred to him by his real last name. For some reason, he'd been   
using his sensei's last name ever since he was little. No one would   
ever tell him why.  
"It's because we need your help. An incursion wave is   
about to fall on the district you're in. We need you to eliminate the   
nexus before it becomes a paradigm."  
"Huh? What are you talking about?"  
"I was hoping to explain all this to you in depth, but there   
isn't time now . . . "  
Suddenly, there was the loud sound of an aircraft sweeping   
in low right above Shinji, drowning out the rest of what Misato had   
said. He tried to ask her what was going on, but he couldn't even   
hear his own voice above the noise. Finally, the plane passed by,   
dropping a large crate with a parachute attached.  
Shinji watched the crate as it slowly descended, only half-  
noting Misato saying, "Good, it's finally there."  
The crate landed with the sound of metal falling on   
concrete. It reminded Shinji of the sound when he closed the   
heavy lid of a dumpster, carrying out the trash for his sensei.  
"Shinji?" Misato asked him, noticing that he was still   
staring at the crate as the parachute settled over it.  
"Yes?"  
"I want you to do exactly as I say. Hang up this phone, go   
over and open up the crate. There should be a button with the   
NERV symbol on it, all you have to do is push that. There will be   
a suit inside. I want you to take off all you clothes and put the suit   
on. Don't forget the interface nodes, they go on your head. Press   
the button on your left wrist so the suit conforms to your body. I'll   
be able to talk to you again when you're done. Now, do you got all   
that?"  
"You want me to strip right in the middle of the street?"   
Shinji asked, blushing horribly.  
Misato laughed a bit at his embarrassment. "No one is   
going to see you Shinji, the whole district has been evacuated.   
You can duck into an alley if you have to. Just hurry up, you need   
to get the plug suit on before the incursion wave hits."  
"But what is an incursion wave?"  
"No time for questions! Shinji, you won't be safe unless   
you get that suit on!"  
Noting the urgency in the woman's voice, Shinji nodded,   
hung up the phone, and rushed over to the crate. It wasn't hard to   
find the button and push it. Inside, hanging up as if in a locker,   
was an odd-looking white and blue suit that seemed to be made of   
a thick rubber. When Shinji picked it up, he noted that it was very   
smooth to the touch, but unlike rubber or plastic. It kind of felt   
like solid water, as if it were moving all by itself under his hands.  
Grabbing the suit and the two things he guessed to be   
interface nodes, Shinji ducked into a dark alley and quickly got   
changed. When he emerged out into the street again, he was   
sporting the tight-fitting plug suit with a very embarrassed look on   
his face.  
"Hello?" Shinji shouted after no one started talking to him   
for a few minutes. "Can anyone hear me?"  
*Sorry about that, Shinji-kun,* said Misato's voice,   
seeming to come from inside his head. *I was busy setting up   
some things here at NERV command. Incidentally, you should try   
thinking the words rather than saying them. It isn't important now,   
but it will be when the incursion wave hits. Don't worry, I'll still   
be able to hear you.*  
*Okay.* Shinji thought, *Can you tell me what's going on   
now?*  
*In a few minutes, an incursion wave is going to hit the   
district that you're in. It's going to cause the whole place to   
change, perhaps even dramatically. We can't be sure exactly what   
effect it will have until it hits. Don't be alarmed. That's what an   
incursion wave does, it establishes another reality in ours.*  
"Huh?" said Shinji, too confused to remember only to   
think.  
*Shinji, what do you know about the Second Impact?*  
*It was when a meteor hit the Antarctic, causing huge   
floods. Every school kid knows that.*  
*Wrong, every school kid has been lied to. The Second   
Impact was actually an incursion wave sent by the Angels in order   
to take over our planet. We managed to contain it, but not without   
great loss of life.*  
*Angels? You mean like messengers sent from God?*  
Misato laughed a little about that. *No, the reason why we   
call them that . . . well, you should find out soon enough. Don't   
worry about it.  
*The incursion wave establishes another localised reality,   
conforming the district to its rules rather than the rules we've come   
to know. For instance, we all know that magic doesn't really work,   
but an incursion wave can make it so magic does work and   
technology doesn't. It also changes the people there to conform to   
that reality and will even bring additional people with it. The   
changes can be much more subtle than this though. The only   
people with some immunity to the change are those conceived on   
the night of the Second Impact, which is why we need your help   
Shinji.*  
*My help? What do--* The thought instantly died when a   
giant rumbling began to echo throughout the empty district, nearly   
drowning out the computerized voice saying, "Warning: incoming   
incursion wave."  
Shinji looked up to see a bright white light filling the entire   
sky, falling towards him fast. The last thing he heard before it hit   
was Misato saying, *Shit, it's here already.*  
  
***  
  
*Shinji, wake up!*  
Shinji nearly jumped off his futon in surprise. It was a   
voice he had never expected to hear again, or at least not with the   
same tone. It was Misato, though he could immediately tell that it   
was the real Misato and not the one he was currently living with.   
For one, only one of them talked inside his head, but their tone was   
the bigger difference to them. The false-Misato was mostly happy-  
go-lucky, as if underneath everything she didn't really care what   
happened. The real one's voice had the iron of determination to it.   
*You're back!*  
*Yes we are, no thanks to you, Shinji,* Ritsuko told him.   
*It took me forever to bypass the damage that LCL caused to the   
link. I told you not to get in that thing. What possessed you to   
ignore my advice?*  
*That girl Rei was hurt. I just couldn't let them make her   
pilot the EVA, she would have died.*  
*Shinji, you should have known better. None of that was   
real. The real Rei is in a NERV hospital right now. There is no   
way should would have been harmed.*  
*But--*  
*No buts, Shinji. The more you accept that false reality,   
the harder its going to be for you to escape from it. Listen closely,   
Shinji, because it's very important you understand this. Nothing   
within an incursion is real except for yourself. Not the people you   
meet, that EVA you piloted, the angel that attacked, not even the   
room you're sleeping in. None of it is real. It's more like a dream   
than anything else. The only reason that any of it seems real to you   
is because it's like you're dreaming.*  
*So how do I wake up then?!*  
Misato spoke this time. Her voice lacked the confidence it   
normally held. *Shinji, you've been in the incursion for too long.   
That means that if you don't eliminate the nexus soon, the   
incursion will become real and you'll never be able to escape from   
it. What's more is in it lasting so long, the nexus has grown very   
powerful. It will be very hard for you to beat it.*  
*What do I do? Please tell me Misato!*  
*First, I want you to get up and very slowly open your   
door. You have to be careful not to make the slightest sound.*  
Shinji didn't understand why, but he carefully made his way   
to the door, making sure that each footfall was silent. The   
moonlight provided just enough illumination for him to avoid   
obstacles. He silently made his way to the door and very slowly   
opened it to look out to the hall beyond.  
*Now what?* Shinji asked almost testily. He felt like a   
thief, and that horrible punishment would await him if he were   
caught.  
*Good work so far, Shinji. Now as quietly as you did that,   
make your way over to the door to my double's room and very   
carefully open the door to her room.*  
*Why?*  
*Just trust me on this, Shinji. If I tell you now you might   
panic and fail. This could be your last chance to escape this   
incursion. Time is running out.*  
Shinji nodded. It terrified him that he had almost accepted   
this nightmare as his life. He would do anything to get out of it.  
Moving even more slowly and carefully than before, he   
made his way to the false-Misato's door. He stood there for some   
moments, nearly shaking with the fear of getting caught. And   
then, very slowly, he opened the door.  
The room he looked in on was a mess, even seeing it by   
dim moonlight. There were clothes scattered everywhere. The   
false-Misato was a large lump buried under blankets. *I wonder if   
the real Misato is this big a slob.*  
Nervous laughter was the response. *Shinji, do you see the   
holster hanging from the chair?*  
Shinji looked around the room, his eyes finally settling on a   
chair near a desk, from which a holster hung. *Yes.*  
*Good, I want you be especially careful to not make a   
sound and go over to the holster, taking out the gun you find   
there.*  
Shinji was shocked by her request. *What? Why?*  
*Just do it, Shinji!* Misato practically shouted at him. He   
could tell her voice was strained. *It's the only way out of this   
incursion.*  
Shinji nodded and made his way over to the holster, his   
mind on the unseen gun that rested there. He moved so slowly that   
he thought it might take him forever to reach it. Nervousness made   
him want to hurry along, but somehow he was able to keep his   
pace. The last thing he wanted was for Misato to wake up.   
Eventually, he made it.  
Shinji reached into the holster and pulled out the gun, its   
black metal gleaming under the moonlight. He didn't like the feel   
of it at all. It felt too big for his hand, too heavy. He also didn't   
like thinking about what it was for.  
*Now what?*  
There was a long silence before the reply came. Misato's   
voice sounded even more strained than before. For a moment he   
thought that she was going to tell him that he was trapped in the   
incursion without any hope of escape. *I want you to point the gun   
at the figure on the futon and pull the trigger several times.*  
*What?!* Shinji nearly shouted out loud, but stopped   
himself at the last moment.  
*Yes, the MAGI have determined that my doppelganger is   
the nexus. Once you kill her, the incursion will end.*  
*No, I can't do it!*  
*You have to do it, Shinji! You're the only one who can.   
You have to, in order to escape the incursion.*  
*But there has to be some other way!*  
*There isn't. This is the only way.*  
*But--*  
*Shinji, listen to me. That's not me there, it's some twisted   
clone that the incursion invented so you'd give in to it. It's her fault   
that you're still there, it's her fault that you almost forgot about the   
real world. But it will be your fault, Shinji, if you don't end this   
right here and now. Your fault that everyone else will die,   
swallowed up by the incursion.*  
*But--*  
*Shinji!* Misato's voice was filled with anger and   
desperation now. *If you don't kill her, then you kill me! If the   
incursion wins, then the Third Impact will wipe out everyone! I'm   
not ready to die yet, Shinji! You have to do this!*  
Shinji didn't think about it because he knew that if he did he   
would just find more reasons not to go through with this. He had   
to do it. He felt as if his hands were frozen and it took all of his   
strength just to pull the trigger. One, two, three times. Each shot   
was like thunder in his ears, but he barely noticed them. After the   
final shot, he dropped the gun to the floor with a soft thud.  
He heard a sound like several people who had been holding   
their breath release it all at once. *Good work, Shinji. I'm sorry   
you had to do that, but you saved all humankind. You better make   
sure that she's dead.*  
Shinji took a very deep breath, wiped the tears from his   
eyes that he hadn't even noticed before, and slowly made his way   
over to the futon. There was no reason to be quiet anymore after   
the gun shots, but Shinji wasn't looking forward to looking into   
Misato's dead eyes.  
As he was slowly lifting up the covers, a hand flashed out   
and caught him by the throat. In moments, he was pinned to the   
wall by a disheveled Misato, wearing a bullet-proof vest and a   
manic grin. Her eyes were different somehow; they almost seemed   
to burn with their intensity.  
"That wasn't very nice, Shinji-kun." Her normally sweet   
tone now had a definite edge to it, like candy coating hiding razor   
blades. "I take you in to my apartment, feed you dinner, and you   
try to kill me. Not very nice at all." Her grip was like iron around   
his throat and he knew that if she squeezed a little tighter he   
wouldn't be able to breathe.  
*Shit!* the real Misato said. *How did they know?*  
Shinji didn't even hear her, fully concentrating on the   
Misato who had him by the throat. Her hair might have been   
comical, sticking out at all angles, if it wasn't for the expression on   
her face. Her eyes and teeth gleamed in the moonlight, her skin   
seeming very pale. She looked like someone who was already   
dead brought back to life. A hungry ghoul or vampire, sizing up   
her prey.  
"Why do you fight us, Shinji? This is where you belong.   
There are problems here, sure, but that would be true of any reality.   
Why do you listen to them, Shinji? How can you be so sure that   
they are real, when all you hear are voices and I stand before you in   
the flesh?"  
While Shinji mentally struggled to deny that any of this   
was real, Misato removed the bullet-proof vest, careful not to   
loosen her grip on him. She only wore a flimsy nightgown under   
it; in the moonlight, it accentuated her very female form.  
She pressed her body up against his and now spoke in a   
low, sultry tone. "If you join with us, it would be very   
comfortable, Shinji-kun."  
As the tension rose to high levels of fear and lust,   
something in Shinji snapped. He howled incoherently in rage as he   
broke free from Misato's grip. He ran out of her room and out to   
the kitchen. Moonlight gleamed off a row of knives and without   
even thinking, he took one. With another howl, he charged at her,   
knife drawn. Misato didn't even have the time to move as the knife   
came at her again and again, Shinji stabbing into her body, deeper   
and deeper, in the grip of a manic strength that he didn't know he   
possessed.  
Shinji gained some hold on his sanity, only to see Misato's   
shocked eyes falling away from him, her body smeared with blood.   
He looked down in surprise to his own hand which held the bloody   
knife. The blood was everywhere; on his hands, his clothes, the   
floor, and the corpse of Misato who now lay at his feet, looking up   
at him accusingly with empty eyes.  
Shinji started screaming and screaming, so it was a mercy   
when the darkness finally took him.  
  
***  
  
Misato stood routed to the spot where she had watched   
through the eyes of enraged Shinji as he had stabbed her over and   
over. She knew that it had not really been her, but felt as if she had   
just ordered the execution of her own twin sister. There was also   
something more than a little frightening about the way that Shinji   
had acted, even though it had saved the world.  
Ritsuko's hand on her shoulder snapped her out of it. "It   
had to be done," the scientist told her. "We both know that."  
"I know, but I wish I never had to see that."  
"Imagine how Shinji feels. Your double might have only   
been nice to him to establish the incursion, but he was still forced   
to kill someone who had done nothing but treat him well."  
"Yeah, poor Shinji-kun. I told you he wasn't ready for   
this."  
"We all wish that there had been some other way, but there   
wasn't and besides, it's too late for that now. You better hurry and   
pick him up."  
"Me? But I thought--"  
"Don't tell me that you're nervous that he'll come after you   
with a knife, Captain?"  
Misato didn't answer for some moments. "But wouldn't it   
be better for Commander Ikari to pick him up?"  
"You're the one whose image he's just killed. It's you that   
he needs to be assured is still alive."  
"But--"  
"Captain, you are to retrieve my son immediately,"   
Commander Ikari told her. "That's an order."  
"Yes, commander," Misato reluctantly agreed and made her   
way to the elevator, as she had before this whole mess had begun.  
  
Misato found Shinji on the street where he had entered the   
incursion. Still dressed in his plug-suit, he was curled up in a ball,   
apparently unconscious. She shook his shoulder, softly saying,   
"Come on Shinji, snap out of it. That nightmare is over."  
For some moments he didn't react, then his eyes opened.   
Seeing her, Shinji clung to her suddenly, whispering, "I'm sorry,   
I'm so sorry" over and over again between choked sobs. Startled   
by this show of emotion, Misato could think of nothing to do but to   
hug him back and whisper, "It's all right, Shinji. Everyone is   
okay."  
It was some time before Shinji had calmed down enough so   
he would let go of her. He wiped away his tears as he looked at   
her, obviously surprised. "You're okay," he said, mostly to   
himself.  
Misato smiled and nodded. "I told you everyone would be   
all right. Now come on, there's someone who has been waiting to   
meet you."  
  
Commander Ikari paced nervously, waiting for Misato to   
return. Most people couldn't tell, but Fuyutsuki had known the   
commander for a long time and also knew what this meeting   
meant. They had gone back to the commander's office, mostly so   
Ikari could pace in private.  
"You did the right thing, you know," Fuyutsuki said. "He'll   
come to understand that."  
The Commander smirked at that. "He might find it hard to   
believe that I sent him away for ten years for his own good."  
"But it's the truth, nonetheless. We live in turbulent times.   
There are several groups who would not hesitate to use him against   
you. Bringing him here now was not without risk."  
"Not that we had a choice, with the problems with Rei."  
"I don't understand why you didn't--"  
"There are problems with that too. We can't be entirely   
certain what would have happened at this point. It would have   
been an even greater risk than using my son. She very well could   
have chosen to stay."  
"Not in the incursion we saw."  
"No, but there was no way to predict what the incursion   
will be until it falls. I admit I was most surprised to see the NERV   
facility warped, its purpose changed to fight giant alien monsters   
out of some B-movie."  
"Or a children's cartoon show, especially with those   
robots."  
Further conversation was interrupted by the buzzing of the   
intercom. Ikari hit the button and asked, "Yes? What is it?"  
"Commander, your son is here."  
"Understood. I'll be right there."  
Fuyutsuki put a hand on the shoulder of his old friend.   
"He'll understand eventually. Just give him time."  
"I hope you're right," the commander replied, door shutting   
behind.  
"Their first meeting in ten years," Fuyutsuki mused out   
loud.  
  
Shinji, changed back into his normal clothes and his bag   
slung over his shoulder, was walking through the NERV facilities   
for the second time. Or first time rather, since everything that had   
happened in the incursion hadn't been real. It was an easier   
concept to accept with Misato leading the way. He had killed her,   
he had seen her die. He had watched the light in her eyes fade.   
Yet there she was, right beside him, looking no worse for wear.   
Certainly not looking like someone who had been just stabbed a   
half dozen times.  
Regardless, the sense of deja vu was very strong, since this   
NERV facility was nearly identical to the other one. There were   
some noticeable differences, it wasn't as large and looked more   
used than the pristine clean of the incursion version. There was   
also the fact that this Misato clearly knew where she was going.  
"Looks a lot like that other one, doesn't it?" Misato   
commented.  
"Yeah, how did you know. . .?"  
"What you were thinking? Well, you were looking around   
a lot. Don't worry, I know this place pretty well, even though I've   
only been here a month."  
"No, what I was going to say is how did you know what the   
place inside the incursion looked like?"  
"One of the features of your plug-suit is a built-in camera   
that broadcasts directly into NERV central. So everything you   
saw, we saw. Except for the time when the LCL blocked the   
transmission."  
"Even . . .?"  
"Yup Shinji, everything," Misato told him in a somber tone   
and then changed the subject. "Well, we're here."  
"Where is here?" Shinji asked, looking at the door they had   
stopped in front of, which was much like the rest.  
"Commissary. You must be hungry about now, right?"  
Shinji couldn't shake the image of the woman he was   
looking at dying right before his eyes, the blood everywhere. "No,   
not really," he replied a bit nervously.  
"Well, there's someone inside that has been waiting for you   
for some time now."  
"My father?" he asked.  
Misato looked at Shinji strangely for a while before saying,   
"That incursion must have effected you more than we thought."  
Wondering about the strange comment, Shinji entered the   
commissary, fully preparing himself to meet the man who had   
abandoned him, for the second time. He hoped this time it would   
be a warmer reception.  
The commissary was mostly empty, all but a single person   
were up getting their food. The remaining one sat a table looking   
directly at Shinji. The black uniform was familiar, as well as the   
dark glasses that lay on the table beside white gloves. The figure   
in that uniform, however, was not one Shinji had ever expected to   
see again.  
"Mother?" Shinji said in shock, absently dropping his bag   
to the floor. This had to be some kind of dream. His mother was   
dead. Wasn't she?  
The Commander of NERV, Yui Ikari, stood and slowly   
made her way over to her son. She could not believe how much   
the boy had grown, the boy who she had been forced to hide away   
from the people who would use him against her. Slowly, Yui   
wrapped the still shocked Shinji in a hug.  
"I'm so sorry, Shinji. I never wanted to abandon you, but it   
was the only way to keep you safe. And I've brought you back,   
only to put you though that horrible incursion. Can you ever   
forgive me?"  
"Mother?" Shinji repeated, too stunned to grasp what she   
had been saying.  
Yui broke off the hug and smiled at her son. "Yes, Shinji.   
I am your mother and I am alive. Any memories you have of me   
being dead are just an after-effect of the incursion. They should   
fade in a day or so."  
"Then father is . . .?"  
"Yes, your father is gone. He died in a lab accident when   
you were still very young."  
"You better not let anyone else see you with that smile,   
Commander," Ritsuko commented as she came over with a tray of   
drinks and sandwiches. "You could ruin your reputation that way."  
Yui's smile widened a bit. "Shinji, I'd like you to meet the   
real Ritsuko Akagi, though her voice should already be familiar to   
you. She is chief scientist of NERV and responsible for the plug-  
suit you were wearing."  
"Pleased to meet you," Shinji said, bowing.  
"I don't know about the rest of you," Misato said, breaking   
into the conversation. "But I'm starving. Why don't we sit down   
and eat?"  
"Now I remember why I chose you to be operations   
director, Misato," Yui told her as she guided the still not fully   
recovered Shinji to a seat, taking one for herself. "Always willing   
to speak your mind and take charge of a situation."  
"And I just thought you hired me because I was Ritsuko's   
old college roommate," Misato said with a smile as she sat down.  
"It couldn't have been your sparkling personality," the   
former roommate in question quipped as she started passing out the   
drinks and sandwiches.  
The three woman dug into their meals like people who   
hadn't eaten since breakfast, which had been the case. Shinji only   
stared at the sandwich that he held in his hands.  
"Aren't you going to eat it?" Misato asked. "It's pretty   
good, even if it isn't home made or anything. Still wish they   
served beer in the commissary though."  
Shinji stared up her in surprise, noticing the concerned   
looks of all three women there directed at him. He tried to explain,   
"It's just that . . . well, a lot's happened to me and . . . "  
Yui placed a comforting hand over her son's shoulders.   
"Just put it into the back of your mind to think about later. We can   
talk about it all you want some other time, but for now concentrate   
on eating."  
"All right . . . mom."  
  
"So where am I going to live?" Shinji asked after everyone   
had finished their small meal.  
"With me, of course," Yui told him, sounding somewhat   
indignant. "I am your mother after all."  
"It's just . . ."  
"That he wants to see Misato in her nightgown," Ritsuko   
finished his sentence for him.  
"Ritsuko!" both Yui and Misato shouted simultaneously,   
outraged at her suggestion. Shinji was beet red in embarrassment.  
"Need I remind you that I'm married," Misato told her.  
"Yes, but with your husband away . . ."  
Misato hefted the tray meaningfully. "Complete that   
sentence and I'll brain you, old friend or not."  
Shinji turned to face his mother as the other two women   
continued their argument. "Are they always like this?"  
"Most of the time, yes," Yui told him. "They really are the   
best of friends, it's just they have an odd way of expressing their   
affection for one another."  
"I guess."  
"We better get going," she told him, then raised her voice to   
get the attention of the two women who were still arguing. "In   
fact, I think most of us should go home and get some sleep. The   
night crew can handle anything that needs to be done now."  
Ritsuko asked, "What about examining Shinji? There still   
could be some residual effects of the incursion."  
"That's probably true, but you don't look fit to carry out   
such an examination and I doubt Maya is in much better shape.   
Today has been a long day. Even I'm nearly nodding off. The   
examination can wait until morning, and that's my final word on   
the matter."  
"Yes, Commander."  
Yui stood, absently fixing her uniform as she fetched her   
gloves and glasses. "Come along, Shinji. I'll take to your new   
home."  
Shinji nodded and followed her out of the commissary.   
Whatever energy he had before was nearly spent and each step was   
harder than the last. He just hoped to make it to the car before   
exhaustion overwhelmed him.  
  
Preview of Episode 2:  
Misato here. Shinji moves in with his estranged mother,   
Yui Ikari, finding that having a mother again is a little more than   
he bargained for. School will be no picnic either for the young   
Ikari as the class discovers that he's the new Protector. Things   
become even more difficult when some kids from school get   
trapped in the next incursion with him. All in the next episode,   
School Life. And of course: service, service, service!  



End file.
